finally, not really.

today was the last day of basketball.
we lost our second district game by just about twenty.
it was basically a shitty game.

but anyways before my game i had fun
with my babes melissa & jeremyyy - we ain't chilled ina while
but its all good. we went to mingsss :) & then we were walking to naty's house
while he was saying something about putting "niggas" on.


but we found a sign that had NSW on it & i me, never hearing of such a thing,
asks what it is. mita came up with some bullshit sayin it was " Niggas Stay Working"
i was like wtf ? - shes mad weird, seriously. & jeremy was talking about tristan & his
snake, or as he say tarantula. i had to explain to him that tarantulas are spiders & no snakes.
no wonder why he 'went' to CSC. he lost all of his brain cells to drugs. hahaha
& HOW THE FCK YOU GET KICKED OUT OF CSC?!
seriously lol. dumbass. i love him though. :)

when we were walking, it was like we was in a tornado.
it was warm and ODEE windy out. sand got in my shoe
somehow. we dont leave anywhere near a beach lol.

but now that basketballs over, i can get a steady job.
which will most likely be at lids in the auburn mall since my beautiful
cousin is the manager & she'll just put me on :)
i love her :) - her drunkass lol.

after natys cribboo, we went to africa
aka fabreez's crib. he lives in the house i used to live
in :( i was sad.
but i was CRYIN when jeremy called it africa
cus it smells like foofoo. *& shit. lol

the thing im most afraid of.

the thing that fear me the most are girls.

they're probably texting & sending pictures back and forth.

they probably have a thing for eachother. they probably

are making plans to go out for lunch or dinner & a movie.

and i can't do anything about it.

he probably goes to her house while im sleeping

or when im at school. i DO have jelousy issues

& i DO beleive everything he says to me.

whats the point of lying? but when hes with her

i just can't help but think of what they're doing together

im afraid of getting my heart broken again,

because this time it would be for good

but i just have to learn how to trust.

i really do love him & i know he does too.

noone can tell me otherwise. they don't

have the deep conversations that we do.

so fcuk the world.

one last request.

& if i could have one last request...

the last thing you will ever have to do for me,
it would be to never tell those secrets i trusted you with.
everything that broke me, everything that bothered me,
everything that made me cry. i trusted you. and i know
that you're the one who said goodbye, the one who
made me cry the longest i ever have. but dont ever forget
what we used to be. the promises you swore to keep.
the things you said and how you felt while saying them.
i fell in love,my first love. maybe it wasnt even true.
but dont lie to me, because i know you felt it too.

- found this on witty. i used to feel that way

about a little somebody.

but don't get me wrong, im in love & im happy

and all but, its not the way i hoped it would be.

♥

districts : day one.

i just got home. today was our first district game ( basketball ).
we won against milford, 54 - 49 .

it was SOOO intense. we were down in the first 14-8
& i thought it was going to be over. but we picked up our heads
and busted ASS. especially erika and jess with their blocks.
it was tied going into the fourth, 43-43 ( i think ; something like that )
& "shorty" got a three pointer & we were down.
tat-E got fouled twice & got 3/4 of her shots in.
krystal got her three & so did nonnie ( kiesha ).
the other team got a couple of layups & we were down again at one point. 47-46
but thats when krystal savede the day with her three
& then got fouled and made both of her shots in.
so excitingg

& thennn we won :)

- yetz & i almost perfected our pound-turn "benchie" handshake thingy.
we are too nice. yeeeeeaaaaaaah!

dear mommy,

i wanted to be your little girl. i don't quite understand what has happened. i was so excited when i began realizing my existance. i was in a dark, yet comfortable place. i saw i had fingers and toes. i was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. i spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. even from my earliest days, i felt a special bonding between you and me. sometimes i heard you crying and i cried with you. sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. i heard Daddy yelling back. i was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. i wondered why you cried so much. one day you cried almost all of the day. i hurt for you. i couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.


that same day, the most horrible thing happened. a very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place i was in. i was so scared, i began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. maybe you never heard me. the monster got closer and closer as i was screaming and screaming, "mommy, mommy, help me please; mommy, help me." complete terror is all i felt. i screamed and screamed until i thought i couldn't anymore. then the monster started ripping my arms off. it hurt so bad; the pain i can never explain. it didn't stop.
oh, how i begged it to stop.i screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.


though i was in such complete pain, i was dying. i knew i would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. i wanted to make all your tears go away. i had so many plans to make you happy. now i couldn't; all my dreams were shattered. though i was in utter pain and horror, i felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. i wanted more than anything to be your daughter. no use now, for i was dying a painful death. i could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. i wanted to tell you that i love you before i was gone, but i didn't know the words you could understand.


and soon, i no longer had the breath to say them; i was dead. i felt myself rising. i was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. i was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. the angel took me away to a wonderful place. then i was happy. i asked the angel what was the thing was that killed me. he answered, "abortion". i am sorry, for i know how it feels. i don't know what abortion is; i guess that's the name of the monster. i'm writing to say that i love you and to tell you how much i wanted to be your little girl. i tried very hard to live. i wanted to live. i had the will, but i couldn't; the monster was too powerful. it sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. it was impossible to live.


i just wanted you to know i tried to stay with you. i didn't want to die. also, please watch out for that abortion monster. mommy, i love you and i would hate for you to go through the kind of pain i did. please be careful.
love, your baby girl

your weave saved your life ?

is this nigga bitch foreal ? or is she just crazy.
that must have been some thick ass "hair".

& it dont even look cute aahaha.
watch :)

DOL night.

so the dolls went out tonight.

& we had mad funn. :)

first, we went to pizza palace

and mickey ate some big ass meal while the rest of us

had a small french fry. lol

we was ODEE loud with it.

and then a group of white boys came in

and we left lol. no offense to the white boys.

then our crazy asses, decided to WALK from

the pizza palace to the bowling ally.

thats worcester to auburn,

noticed i said walk yeah. it about

4 degrees out & we walked for 10 minutes in that mess.

& michaelea's DUMBASS wore some capri's

so you know her white leggs were red & purple when we got there lol.

when we got there at 730, it was jampacked.

so we made a lane reservation.

so in the meantime....we went pee.

& i attempted to walk into a stall. but

there was a plunger & i backed away lol.

the me & mita played the fast & furious game.

i got fourth place :)

we saw some girl. she was dressed mad weird.

she had a blue dress on. with black leggings & GOLD bootie-heels!

i mean the dress was cute & so were the shoes

BUT NOT TOGETHER!

her hair was a lil....fcked up too.

so while we was watching isadora

play dance dance revolution, these cute kids walked by

so mita screams mandown - thats our lil codeword

for a really cute kid. so we all agree & watch them

in slow motion.....

while were bowling,

the lane next to us were the white kids from

the pizza palace lol. they were chill.

& they made up dumb names for themselves on

their scorecards. one was called cumdumpster

so we called him that all night lol.

then the lights turn off for the

night bowl. all the neon lights & shit turn on.

it looked real hot lol.

so we turn around & the "cuties" was

sitting behind us. so we all look at eachother & smile.

mickey decided to wave them over.

but it was my turn. so i go & i get a spare.

because

NOONES PAYING ATTENTION TO ME

isnt that some shit ?lol.

while it was the others time to bowl,

i was approched buy one of the "cuties"

and we start talking and laughing & becoming cool peoples.

so when we become cool peoples, he asks for my number

so i give it to him [ as friends ]. so we keep talking or

whatever. & his friend has the nerve to call me a rudeass.

it was funny. so we start joking around.

by this time its like, 945.

our bowling game was over, so

the kid that was trying to bag me, lets call him "lips".

cus his lips were hugee lol

we keep talking & stuff. i was leaning against the

lil pole that was on the side of our lane.

he picks up a ball & tries to bowl lol.

so he tries to be all cool & throws the ball

with like a lil curve or whatever. & its

a guttaaaaaa. haha.

that happend about 5 times till he hit the pins

& it wasnt even a strike lol. it was pretty funny.

but cute because he tried to impress me :)

then my mommy picked me up.

so i was kinda sad.

but i had a real funn night

damn.

im kinda late on this post. everyone has this pic but omg this poor girl. like forreal. all the stories about the herpies & stuff, i kinda beleive now. look at her mouth. EWH! chris is on some bitchassness shit. he said he would never hit a girl. look what he did. he knocked her out & left her on the side of the road because of some ex-girlfriend shit. maybe he was cheating on her. because how can you be so defensive about something like that. thats not true, & fuck up your girl ? people say they're going to get back together. SHE'S going to be the stupid one. are you that sprung & in love that after he fucks your face up like that you're running back to him ? heelll no. i would not be. like i know its chris brown & hes fine & all that. but nah, im not going back to him. my mom said "well, maybe he was just defending himself. she IS from the islands & them chicks are crazy. she was prolly going after him with a knife." idk, so many stories are out there idk which one to beleive.

my star.

so im talking to my buddie raheem.

& he says that one night this summer,

were going to lay in the grass and watch the stars.

i thought that was so cute.

hes my little star :]

"reach for the stars so if u fall, you'll land on the clouds" - kanye west

i just cant

get this song out of my head

i think that..

danity kane needs to get back together.
its not going to be the same with out all 5 of them.
& whats good with shannon ? she like disappeared.
uuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
just get your shit together. the only real problem is auburey.
i mean, thats my girl & all but shes doing playboy

& all that. exposing herselfff.
thats not cool. i have a feeling that day26

is going to be splitting up too.
idk, we have to see. but now im watching ABDC.

the girls did their thing in the beginning
with that single ladies dance. :) - thats still my damn song idgaf! lol

bad nights sleep.

being sick and everything

i basically slept all day.

when i sleep during the day, i dont sleep at night.

which means i cant take naps on school nights.

resulting in this, i didnt go to bed until 5 this morning & i only slept til 12.

so if i act b&%^#y to you ? im sorry.

im cranky. i hate being sick.

tommorow i have practice 9-11AM so i need to get my rest.

practice got cancelled so i can stayup all night & talk on the phone :)

tommorow, DOL is going bowling !

its tata's [melissa's] birthday outing.

& its going to be the dolls

first time out for about a month

im so excited. i miss my babies

just got mine.

he needs to be signed to young money.
so he could be next to the best.
cus in my eyes, hes getting up there.

--

layout inspired.

blahh.

so last night at about, 11-12 i

get home from the hospital

& i decided to have something to eat, as i was

writing the "bella ?" blog.

it was some turkey soup that my mom made sunday

& it was really really good.

i was texting shaq, my friend. [ not shaq o'neil. lol ]

& fell asleep on him. sorry hun , :/

but anyways i woke up at about 2 because

mr. aaron called me

& i was like babe i really don't feel good so ima

just go back to sleep.

& that i would call him when i woke up

knowing that hes a morning person.

i dont know why. thats just weird.

so right when we hang up. i found myself

throwing up violentley

on the side of my bed,

[ because if i stood up, i would be on some exorcist '$&%^' ]

my turkey soup that tasted , MmMm good.

but not so much anymore.

so while i was cleaning up, i saw that i threw

up on my phonecharger.

& i know its pretty nasty but i still refuse to touch it.

ewhhhhhhh !

anyways, i've been home sick allday.

i havent thrown up

for about 12 hours now so thats okay.

i hope i get better. our first district game is coming up and

i MUST play.

my favorite allstar moment.

nate robinson dunking over dwight howard.
like seriously. nate comes up to dwights HIP
& he can jump over him. that's just crazy. & his sneaks are redikulluusssss


&lebron ?
who knew he could be so freshh ?
he's sexy & all. but i mean, look at his 'fit. :]

bella ?

remember in breaking dawn when bella was
pregnant with renesmee ? bella was drained out,
the baby was stronger than her. & then
she died for like.... 10 minutes

i just got home from the hospital. my mother was there for
about six hours, getting fluids put into her body. everytime
she would get up to use the bathroom
[ which was every 5 minutes ]
she would throw up all of the liquid. it took lhee [ the baby ]
3 hours to get hydrated. the doctors said that it was a virus &
there was a girl next to us with the same thing.
i just think the babys starting to get too big. imean,
she's only 7 months pregnant & hes already like 19-20 inches long.
i was born at that...so hes only going to get bigger.

im just worried that somethings going to happen to her
during the delivery. cus we hear a whole
buch of stories like that right?
idk. i dont really want to think about it.
like what would happen and stuff.

my bestfriend.

the infamous mita-tas

we've been friends for about 5 years

but the last two years, we have become the closest friends.

we're with eachother everyday & i could never get sick of her.

we tell eachother anything & every detail about it. even if its the

smallest little thing.the only thing i keep from her is probably what her

boyfriend getsher as a surprise. theres no point cus he STILL tells her lol.

when were together, theres never a dry eye between us.

either were laughing so hard or crying.

we have the best memories. like sneaking out and walking

in -10923847 degree weather just to go visit a couple people, at 3

in the morning. & the inside jokes of course that go along with them

things between us will never change. we will always be

best friends

ugh.

shit happens,

dat alll

my daughter.

corey wants a daughter really bad.
and i was just reallly bored & i found these really
cute pictures on Flickr. she kinda looks like me.
like with the hair and everything.


i can tell shes going to be his world.
he already tells me how much hes going to spoil her
& everything lol. its going to be so cute to watch :)



shes going to be the cutest little thing in the world.
but daddy's not going to let her do anything.
and shes going to have a big brother to protect her
from all the lil gangstas at school.
& yeah her names, Jordanae Aaron.
[ thats what he wants, thats what he gets. lol )

my favorite video.

i remember last year, steven introduced me to
this video. i was dyingg ! everyone in the class used to recite it
& it would drive the teaches crazy.
but eversince i saw it. you can never have a whole
conversation with me with out hearing me say something
like him. lol. check it out...

i don't care.

i don't care what people think about about me
or what i 'do'. there's been rumors going
around that i do inappropriate stuff with boys.
why would i do that? i'm not a hoe. i don't need to
do anything with any boys. besides, i'm related to almost every boy in massachusetts
that would be kinda of nasty. don't you think ? yeahh...

but can i live my life?
i don't need your opinion on anything that i do.
i'll live my life, you live yours.
just don't get in my way.

:)

my son.

this is my future baby.
ain't he so cuteeee ?
hes with his daddy in this picture :

& then thats him again when hes 2 years old:


i want a son really bad. cus then he'll grow up to be just like
his daddy. hes going to get all of the girls he wants
cus hes going to be so sexyy.
oh yeah, his names Jordan Aaron: )

special day.

im getting married on this beautiful beach in cabos.at sundown on july 18th 2015, thats after i graduate college.even though he wants to get married as soon as possibleits going to be an all white wedding, with a red rose petal aisle.im going to wear a dress that looks like this :

its going to be exactly the way i dreamed it would be.its going to be the second most important day in the worldbeacuse thats going to be the day i start my new lifeas Mrs. Corey Aaron.moving too fast ? i don't care...

the one.

at one point in every girls life, there's an amazing boy that comes. i met him. it doesn't matter where i met him, or where he lives. just know that we have the strongest feelings for each other. its been about 8 months now that we've been talking. having the kind of relationship that we do, i know that he loves me for me & not for the things i could do to him or with him. and that's the most important thing that i care about. yes we get into a lot of arguments & sometimes we cant stand each other but pretty soon, he'll be leaving me & going overseas. so i'm trying to make the best of us until he leaves. the night he told me that he was leaving, that's when i realized i was really in love with him. my heart dropped to my knees when he said the words. i immediately started crying & i couldn't speak. i started crying even more when i heard sniffles coming from the other side of the phone. i never felt any kind of emotion like that ever before in my life. i really do love him for who he is & not for all he has. that's what makes me different from all the other girls. i don't want his money, his cars, his clothes,or his sex. materialistic things will come and go. but love stays forever. -- not done but it will do.

inhale.

hear me out ;my life is changing right before my eyes.i wish everybody could just know what itfeels like to be me.so put on my shoes. inhale & get addicted